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I've Got a Little List

 

This little ditty is a filk of the song of the same name from Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado. I've kept some of the original words, but also slyly added my own. When I performed it at Wellspring in 2005, I has proud to have Nora Ford, Meredith MacDonald and Jessie Olson as my backup, doo-wah girls!
The folks satirized in order are:

Archdruid Skip Ellison
Meredith MacDonald
The Mother Grove
Ian Corrigan
Jenni Hunt
Kirk Thomas
Ceisiwr Serith
Michael J Dangler
Bardd Dafydd

I’ve Got A Little List

As someday it may happen that a victim must be found,
I’ve got a little list, I’ve got a little list,
Of ADF offenders that might well be underground
And never would be missed, and never would be missed!

The Archdruid answers questions on the lists from one and all,
But beware of what you write because he monitors them all!

There’s that buxom blond we all adore who goes by Merry-Death;
She vamps the Dagda in her rites, she thinks that she’s Mae West!

And MG members who on changing bylaws do insist,
They’d none of them be missed, they’d none of them be missed.

CHORUS:
You can put them on the list, you can put them on the list,
For they’d none of them be missed, they’d none of them be missed.

And we mustn’t now forget our Bardic Laureate’s around,
He wears a tie-dyed shirt; He also wears a skirt!
When bending over, his low-hangers drag upon the ground
Making furrows in the dirt, You’d think that it would hurt!

There’s a Roman lady we all send our DP’s to peruse –
And waiting for her verdict leaves us shaking in our shoes.

Though that bald and brand new V-A-D may say it’s cold as ice,
His tattooed rear and ring of steel he’ll show you in a thrice!

And since in this behavior I suspect he will persist,
I don’t think he’ll be missed, I’m SURE he’ll not be missed.

CHORUS:
You can put him on the list, you can put him on the list,
For I don’t think he’ll be missed. I’m sure he’ll not be missed!

There’s that Ceisiwr who’s so darn smart he leaves us in the dust
When critiquing liturgists, I’ve got HIM on the list.

And a certain handsome man who loving Eris feels he must,
They’d none of them be missed! They’d none of them be missed!

There’s that Daffy Senior Druid from New Jersey, I am told,
Whose Welsh pronunciation leaves his Grovies in the cold,

His ‘LL’ and ‘CH’ he will confuse and spittle then will fly,
His Grovies then must duck and weave or get it in the eye!

But it really doesn’t matter whom you put upon the list,
For they’d none of them be missed, they’d none of them be missed.

CHORUS:
You can put them on the list, you can put them on the list,
For they’d none of them be missed, they’d none of them be missed!

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